dead heart beating

i tried to make you love me, i tried to do what they said you wanted me to
but in the end you still chose to break my heart and live me battling with my pride

i thought you were the best part of my year 
but it turned out to be the worst
you broke my heart and shattered my pride into pieces

when i can finally say that i dont care
you talked to me and told me how you felt 
that if i faught i could have won

you thanked me and apologized

you uttered words that i never thought i would hear from you

you held my hand and kissed me just the way you used to do

you hugged me and suddenly i felt comfortable

all my worries are gone

you said that maybe there'll come a time for us

i tried to pull away but your touch made it impossible

i never wanted that moment to end, but somehow i know after that day we'll be back to normal

we don't even talk, and saying hi seems so hard for both of us

why do you love to make everything so complicated
why do you make everything difficult when it could have been so simple

when everything seems to be okay you go and ruin my day

why do i even care when i know that all you can do is stare
i hate it when you affect me like this but shit! i cant help myself

my friends tell me not to care
that if you really loved me you wont be with someone else 
i smile and agree with them but deep inside i know that i dont

i pretend to be okay when i pass you by 
i pretend not to care when i see you cry 
i pretend not to miss you even if inside im dying to feel you
i pretend that i dont love you but i think i still do 
i pretend to smile though inside im the saddest
i pretend to be inlove with someone to make you feel my importance
now im pretending to be someone im not just to make myself believe that with you ill never be happy.:|

All lies

a day or two after an unexpected talk with "someone", here i am, writing this shit while waiting for my shift at work to end. a hopeless attempt on expressing how i feel.

I saw you cry for her

there I was, just a stare

my hands were shaking

I smiled though I was faking

I thought I was numb enough

I wanted you to fuck off

everyone knows I've moved on

but just after dawn

my wall was beaten down

all of a sudden, sadness was in the air

I though I was in the freezer

when you told me and saw how you loved her,

I don't know how it happened

somehow I was startled

I started doubting

what I've been feeling,

now I can't help but look at you

and think about the things we used to do

I tried to make you love me

I even let my heart get stung by a bee

got so stupid because of you

did things I never thought I'd do

I hate you, honestly

I want you to fall badly

now I see you hurting

I don't know what is it I'm feeling

here I am, now in doubt

and I just cant help but pout

you told me something

'dunno how you got me thinking

I will now forget the things we talked about

to help me not doubt

still I'm hoping, tomorrow we'll be good friends

lets see how things will end

for now, my kisses to you I send